mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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