I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
