Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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