**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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