Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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