oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
