so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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