Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
