All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
