just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize