Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
