OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
