Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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