I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
