all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
