so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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