I'm going to jail i love you
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
