The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
