I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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