Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
