I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
