a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
