glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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