My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
