My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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