Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize