this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
