Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
