Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
