That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
