Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
A+ Viking dick
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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