and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
