whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
