So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
