When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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