marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
