He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
