Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's blow job season.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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