i love accidental penises.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
