Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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