Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
