I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
