If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
