have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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