So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
