i jhust puked up my retainher.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
