Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Girls should come with a carfax report
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
