problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
