A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This is the high leading the old right now
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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