ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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