OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
In other news, I just burned my penis
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
