Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
