I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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