Whod you bang
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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