why didn't you poke me back
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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