Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
