thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dear god my vagina.
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