Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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