I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The feeling are messing with the penis
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
